Lines My Father Told Me

November 11, 2008

My father passed away in April of this year, at the age of 79. His death was sudden, and was unexpected as these things go. There was no time to prepare, and no chance to say goodbye. We were left with his memory, and with a bunch of stuff to go through. I drove his car this past summer to see if keeping it would be a good thing or a bad thing for me (good, it turned out, and I still have it). While rooting around in the glove compartment, I found a mini voice-recorder on which he had dictated four lines of advice. I don’t know if he read these lines somewhere, or composed them. I don’t even know if he recorded them for himself or for us. In light of circumstances, however, they have become parting words, spoken to us in his voice, and first heard four months after his death.

My father was not in a design-related field; he was a lawyer with his own firm on Long Island. Worse, when he re-married in 1976, he threw away all the Herman Miller and Knoll furniture in my stepmother’s house (I was 16 and didn’t know Herman Miller from Herman Munster). If his advice were merely generic and universal, I would put it on the shelf with my grandmother’s imitation Meissen bowl, but my father was sage and wise. His advice has peculiar relevance to our profession and business, so I will share it here:

Be impeccable with your word; don’t take anything personally; don’t make assumptions; and always do your best.

Thanks, Dad, for this and everything else.

Richard J. Weinberg, 1928-2008

Posted by Larry Weinberg on November 11, 2008 | Comments (6)

November 22, 2008

In response to: Lines My Father Told Me
evie commented:

I met Dick and Joyce almost thirty years ago when my Richard, their friend,and I were married. They both had a very special gift of friendship and kindness. I will never forget Dick's support and legal expertise when my Richard died equally unexpectedly five years ago. Alot of good memories of Joyce and Dick. Even though our friendship is now long distance, Joyce continues to be a special friend. with love to he wholde Weinberg family.

November 20, 2008

In response to: Lines My Father Told Me
Jamie commented:

moving. sad. i know how much you must miss him.

November 19, 2008

In response to: Lines My Father Told Me
Glen commented:

tape is a great gift . His picture that you post is also a great gift. I last saw your dad as a 44 or 45 year old, younger than we are now. Our dad's lives are to be treasured,remembered and retold. Their pictures will always remind us of our past. Their spoken and written words will forever be guideposts to our future...be impeccable with your word,don't take anything personally,don't make assumptions and always do our best!Our sisters are meeting for lunch.Hopefully we will too. Glenalan613@aol.com P.S. How appropriate Larry to my memory of our friendship that I have to type in the letters "NBA" to get this message posted.

November 19, 2008

In response to: Lines My Father Told Me
Glen Apfelbaum commented:

Your father was a wonderful man. I should know...since I lived across the street from him (and you) for the first 14 years of my life. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what your feeling. I too lost my dad to prostate cancer 18 years ago. Your father's "

November 17, 2008

In response to: Lines My Father Told Me
alex commented:

Be Impeccable With Your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. Don't Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. Don't Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

November 17, 2008

In response to: Lines My Father Told Me
anon commented:

a lovely tribute. Those lines are from Don Miguel Ruiz, from "The Four Agreements" and are certainly worth recording and passing on.