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Fall Fantasy
September 2, 2008

Every new season, I fantasize about how it will be in my new country house. Fall, my favorite time, will see me sitting on my terrace with friends, both new and old. Dressed in plaid flannel, I am protected against the slight bite in the air. My trusted dog Miss Biggs, fearless hunter that she is, is sitting at my feet scanning the view in search of potential game. Dinner will be some kind of stew made by guests who are up for the weekend--guests who like to cook. No need for after-dinner entertainment, as the witty conversation carries us till bedtime, when we all retire, leaving the fireplace embers.

Then there is this scenario: The outdoor furniture didn't arrive in time, and we're sitting inside dressed in outerwear looking a little strange. This is just as well, as the terrace plantings and flowers are not quite up to their best, having been eaten by deer. Who knew they could defecate and eat at the same time, thus giving the floor a dappled concrete look? The deer giveth back what they eateth up. Now I understand decorating with dear heads.

I was warned that the radiant heat takes a good deal of time to warm a room. In this disaster scenario, I turned it on two weeks ago, and it's still bloody cold. To think that David Mann wanted even more windows! Let him pay the heating bills! Go ahead, Laura Bohn, tell me again about how I should have used storefront windows; just rub it in. Even in the disaster-scenario, the fireplace and steel-and-glass doors look great. Thank God that energy conservation and high fuel costs aren't important issues in this day and age.

The one enjoying the house most is Mrs. Biggs. At 12 years old, her hunting days are over, although she hasn't quite realized it. When aroused by a strange noise outside, she is up and barking, alert but a little slow. A herd of bison could pass before she is on her feet and to the door. It’'s good she still has her looks. Those fat pouches hanging below her belly have taken nothing from her sleek greyhound like profile. I love that dog!

Alas, neither of the above will play out as there are several seasons to go till completion. Labor Day marked the end of the summer months, and a new year begins. I guess I never got over the school calendar year, because September still seems like the beginning of the year. Happy New Year to all my friends, Jewish or Gentile!

Posted by Paul Siskin on September 2, 2008 | Comments (5)